


Before and After

by AvatarQuake



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Gen, POV Alternating, and after she came back in season 4, another fic finally finished, seriously crappy title, takes place before Daisy left in season 3, this is actually angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-10 20:21:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12307011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvatarQuake/pseuds/AvatarQuake
Summary: Moments before Daisy left and after she came back.





	Before and After

**Author's Note:**

> I gave up on finding a title, so sorry, I drew a blank.

She left a week after everything. A week after Hive and Lincoln blew up. A week after Andrew's death and funeral. A week after Talbot made the first uninvited contact and talked about the Accords and coming public.

Coulson wasn't surprised to find out she was gone.

It was all too much and if he could, if he knew, he'd have followed her.

Maybe she knew that and chose to slip out of the base in the middle of the night.

Maybe he had felt it, that's why he didn't sleep that night, why he turned and turned and _turned_ in his bed and looked horrible enough to make literally everyone worry. So much so it took them half a day to tell him Daisy had left.

“I know.” he whispered, drawing the surprised looks of Mack, May and Simmons.

His only condition for SHIELD going public was; ' _Inhuman Director. Preferably agent Johnson._ ' If he had told her, he knew she's feel obliged to stay. Which was why he never told her, probably.

(A small part of him wonders if he kept quiet because he was afraid she'd say no. Which was absurd. Daisy wouldn't have said no.)

When Talbot brings in Mace, he takes it in stride – he's not completely sure, but he is the new Director, so he steps down – makes the announcement and watches as the Playground fills with new people.

He and Mack get paired up, he keeps the Zephyr1 and he packs his stuff. (He packs what was left of Daisy's stuff too and no one seems to notice but Mack.)

His steping down is met with disaproval and questioning from his closest agents, sans Mack and Elena, which is quickly covered by cool indiference.

Everyone acts like it's okay, like it never happened and Coulson would probably have worried if his focus wasn't solely on finding Daisy again.

Six months of almost reaching her, or arriving so late to the scene it was disheartening.

Six months picking up any piece of information the media releashed, any trail no matter how cold, and making a board, trying to read her next move.

Six months of barely taking enough care of himself, of worrying Mack.

Until he found her, unexpectedly, in James' fireworks shop with Simmons.

_DJ~PC~DJ~PC~DJ~PC~DJ~PC_

Tracking down her van was easy. Packing wasn't.

When the time came, she took her suit, a few clothes, her keys, her hula girl and her laptop.

She stood for a solid minute outside of Phil's door, feeling his restless vibrations through the door, knowing he was still awake.

She almost knocked, raised her hand and all.

But she couldn't. She couldn't tell him goodbye. She couldn't see him, or she'd change her mind and stay, or even worse, let him come with her. He wouldn't be safe from her if she staid or if he came and she needed to keep him – and the others – safe.

She turns and leaves.

Cloud is the same as he was, repaired. But she's restless within two days.

He doesn't feel like Cloud anymore. She isn't Skye anymore, she is Daisy Johnson and she is an Inhuman and she is on the run.

She desides to paint her van, to pack what he carries and put them under the passenger seat. Change the interior as much as the exterior.

She paints it black, gets a carpet for the back, a new curtain.

She doesn't name him again. Doesn't think any name would suit the van anymore and it'd only remind her of Lola and Coulson.

Six months with only Elena as a contact and the government after her.

Six months of carefully not thinking about him.

Six months of fighting Watchdogs and getting used to be called Quake, the vigilante, menace, freak.

And then, he was standing across the room from her, in a fireworks shop, the relief in his eyes, and vibrations, palpable.

_DJ~PC~DJ~PC~DJ~PC~DJ~PC_

They don't talk much; he's giving her space, she's trying not to lose him.

He only asks for help. That and his gladness of her being ok. Nothing more.

She was expecting for the accusation of how she left him and the team and how she was being selfish and cold and uncaring and on a path to destruction. To be accused of stealing. But the words never come.

Even after the prison, where she just shoved him away and took on all the inmates, all those Watchdogs and yet he came to back her up.

May's words had hurt because she never expected _May_ to judge her actions, not when she had left Andrew after Bahrain and knew what it was like to need to get back control of who she was.

But then Coulson walked in to the Quinjet and sat down beside her, with a tray and some food and his companionable silence and it was all somehow a little better.

_DJ~PC~DJ~PC~DJ~PC~DJ~PC_

They finally talk after his drink with May, when he found her looking lost in the common area after everyone had left.

“Daisy?”

“I don't know where my bunk is and Simmons said my stuff had been cleared out, so on top of roomless, I'm clotheless beyond the bag I left on the Quinjet.”

“Actually, I got your stuff. After you left, after new people started coming in...I didn't want them thrown away or locked anywhere.”

“Because you knew you'd catch up with me?” she smiled a little.

“I hoped.”

“We should get my van back from the fireworks shop.” she said suddenly.

“You got Cloud back, huh?” he said with a soft smile.

“I...I don't call him Cloud anymore. I don't call him anything. He didn't feel like Skye's Cloud anymore and...” she shrugged.

“You want to go drive him back here tomorrow? I can ask Mace to let us do a quick stop before anything turns up.” he said.

“Yeah. Yes, I'd like that.” Daisy nodded.

“Now to find you a bed for the night.” he said, letting his hand rest on her arm for a second.

“You know if there's a free bunk around?” she asked.

“The one next to mine is conveniently free. I don't think the Director will have a problem with that.” he shrugged.

“Did you hold on to that one, just in case?” she smiled.

“Maybe.” he smiled back.

“So you can keep an eye on me? Not to run off again?”

“So you can kidnap me if you do.” he shrugged. “But until that moment, so you'd know where to find me if you needed me.”

“Phil...”

“And that way we can crash in each other's bunks talking all through the night, catching up.” he continued, leading them to the bunks.

“I missed that. I missed us working together in your office, too.”

“That can wait a little longer to happen. Once you make Director.” he grinned.

“You think I'll be the next one?”

“You _were_ going to succeed me.” he shrugged. “Now you'll have to wait for Mace to step down.”

They find the bunk in question, Phil showing her his was on the right.

“This is literally the last bunk in the hall, Phil.”

“I was going to take it, but Mace said there was no point in having an empty bunk in between. Made it an order when I disagreed.” he shrugged. “Anyway, this is the Blue hall. On account of us being Level Blue.”

“He named it Blue hall?” she asked incredulous.

“Strongly implied.”

Daisy shook her head.

“You want me to go grab your stuff from the Quinjet?” he asked.

“I can do that.” she replied, turning toward the hanger.

He turned and walked beside her.

“It's not an inconvinience, carrying your things, making sure you are settled in again.” he said softly. “I just want to make sure you will be fine.”

“Coulson. I am sorry I left.” she said, quietly.

“No, don't...don't apologise.” he shook his head, stopping in the middle of the hall.

“I know how it feels like, losing places, people. I shouldn't have put you through that.” Daisy said, looking away.

“No. Daisy, look at me.” he reached with his hand and turned her head towards him, softly. “Don't do that. You needed to go, because it was going to help you move on from Hive and Lincoln and the Accords.” he said. “What matters most to me is that you are all right. And if you being here wasn't helping you, if leaving was what you needed to do, for you, you shouldn't apologise for it. You shouldn't apologise for taking care of yourself.”

“But, I hurt you.”

“It would have hurt me more if you had hurt yourself by staying. You shouldn't have to manage my feelings and fears and insecurities. Or anyone else's, for that matter.” he shook his head. “I am glad you did something that prioritised your wellbeing. I only wanted to find you and help you, if you needed my help.”

“But -”

He pulled her in a tight embrace, cutting off any more protests.

“I will not accept your appologies for this.” he told her.

Daisy wrapped her arms around him in response, sighing.

“Come on. Let's get your stuff in your bunk.” he murmured.

“Next time I need to run, I am taking you with me.” she said, letting him go, and starting towards the hangar.

Phil hummed beside her.

“That would be interesting.” he grinned.

“You would be alright with that?” she asked surprised.

“Well, I'd be right where you'd be, hopefully helping you, possibly taking care of you so you wouldn't need to exert yourself to your limits, having your back. So, yeah, I'd be very ok being kidnapped by you.” he smiled at her.

Daisy shook her head, as she retrieved her bags from the Quinjet.

Then, she followed Coulson to the director's bunk, where he had put the rest of her stuff, along with his.

“You moved in here?” she asked, seeing his old collectibles in a box.

“I was out of base for six months. My mission was to capture you, but I wasn't going to. I just needed to find you.”

“A bit like the Bus, huh?”

“Not really. You weren't here.” he shrugged, pulling a bag from the wardrobe. “Come. Let's get you settled.”

“Phil...”

“I really did miss you.” he said, smiling appologetically at her.

“I did, too. It was hard not to find something that reminded me of you, you know. There are a whole lot of little things that got connected to you.”

“Yeah? Did they make you feel better when you needed to?” he asked quietly, walking her to her bunk.

“Sometimes. Others, they just reminded me how much I missed you.” she shrugged.

“I'm sorry.” he said softly.

“It's fine. We're here now.” she replied, letting her hand rest on his shoulder for a moment.

“Yeah.” he smiled.

“So. What do you want to hear first.” she grinned, putting her bags in the closet and taking only her boots off.

Phil sat down beside her, following her example and taking off his shoes.

“Start from the beginning.” he smiled, excitedly.

They talked well into the night, until they fell asleep next to each other – after migrating to a laying possition at some point in their long conversation.

Daisy woke up first to find herself holding on to one Phil Coulson, her arms wrapped tightly around him.

At some point in their sleep they spooned, him the little spoon to her big one.

She rubbed her face to his back, feeling content for the first time in more than six months.

Phil sighed and turned to look at her over his shoulder.

“Morning.” he smiled softly, voice sleep-heavy.

“Mmm, you too.” she smiled back.

He closed his eyes, turned and burried his face at her neck. He sighed again.

“I could get used to this.” he said, sleepily.

“Yeah?” Daisy asked, suddenly breathless.

“Oh, yeah.” she felt him smile against her neck.

“Me, too.” she told him, softly.

“That's good.”

“Yeah, yes, it is.” she smiled, pulling back to see his face.

It looked different this close, his eyes bluer and younger, almost carefree. She leaned closer and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. He kissed back.

“There's a new SHIELD rule, that you will love breaking.” he smirked.

“Let me guess; no Human-Inhuman fraternization?” she smirked back.

“Yep.” he kissed her. “And I admit I love breaking it, too.”

“Think we can make Mace take it down?”

“We can try.” he hummed. “You might have a better chance, being Quake and all.” he teased her.

“Just for that, there's no sex in the van.” she slapped him on the chest lightly. “And I had planned to keep us from getting back to base in favor of finding a nice spot for the three of us.”

He mock-pouted.

“But we can still make out.” she compromised.

“I love you.” he sighed against her lips.

“Me, too.” she smiled. “Come on.” she nudged him. “Let's go get Cloud.”

“Not yet, please.” he said, cuddling closer to her. “Can we stay here a moment longer?”

“Yeah, alright. Let's stay a little longer.” she sighed, getting comfortable in his arms again.

 


End file.
